I remember when there was a time that I sought validation from my peers. I wanted to be the cool girl, the likeable one … the one that everyone wanted to be around all the time. Because of that I kept the company of those who didn’t benefit me nor did they benefit my growth. I kept finding reasons why keeping those “friends” in my life was a good idea until I realized that I shouldn’t have to look for reasons as to why someone should be considered my friend.
Just like romantic relationships, friendships need to have a balance as well. As the relationship progresses, there needs to be growth. I give 50% and so do you. I build you up and you inspire me. But even now, there are some “friends” that I associate with that I have started to distance myself from because that balance doesn’t exist. With that being said, I composed a list of the 6 types of friends
(that I think) you need to let go of.
6) The Friend That ALWAYS Has Something Negative To Say
And no, not the friend that’s always realistic (even though sometimes they can shut up too). No, the friend that literally shuts down everything you have to say. Anyway that you try to build yourself up, they are right behind you letting you know that that isn’t going to happen.
“Hey I wanna start my own blog.”
“Why? No one would read it.”
Welp, I would like to let you know that people are reading it.
#JustSaying #MovingOn #GetRidOfThatFriend
5) The Friend That Makes Everything About Them
This is the friend that has to let the world know that they are there -live and in living color … or they just won’t feel good. Everything that the two of you (or group of you) discuss has to revert back to them in some way (even if you’ve just spend 3 hours discussing them and their issues or what they’re saying doesn’t even relate to the topic). Whether it be grades, family issues, relationships … literally anything you can think of, as long as it relates back to them. It’s kind of like they just enjoy hearing themselves talk.
4) The Friend That Comes As A Packaged Deal
These are the friends that can’t function unless they’re in a relationship. When they’re single they’re always looking -but at least they’re still around. As soon as they find Mr./Mrs.
“Right” Right Now, they have no idea what friends are. All of a sudden, every time that you guys have plans they’re busy with ‘relationship things’ … and if they do come, well .. expect the significant other to be there. The only time they remember you is when they are having relationship issues or the relationship has ended.
The worst part is, once that relationship ends the cycle starts over. And well, I don’t know about you guys but I don’t have the time.
3) The Friend That’s Always Competing With You (Basically .. The Jealous Friend)
Every accomplishment (or un-accomplishment) that you make has to be beaten by these types of friends. Everything you do they have to one up it. Everything you feel is qualified as less than in comparison to what they’re feeling. It’s like they’re in an imaginary competition with you but in reality they’re competing with themselves and their own insecurities.
2) The Friend That Gossips … ALL THE TIME.
Listen, I get it. We all talk. We’re nosey and we want to know what’s going on in each others lives. However, there is a point in time in which it becomes excessive. They call you to talk about other people. The entire text convo is centered around other people. You grab lunch and they’re talking about OTHER PEOPLE. Honestly, I don’t care and I don’t want to talk about other people (who we haven’t seen or spoken to since high school) because you saw something on facebook. Why most you continue to talk about everyone for absolutely no reason? Seriously, I do not care that Tiffany’s boyfriend is cheating on her with Samantha except Samantha has a boyfriend whose baby momma is crazy. No, sorry .. I don’t care, especially not at 2:00 in the morning.
And now it makes me think about all the negative things that you probably say about me.
1) The Friend That Makes You Feel Worthless
I guess all of the previous examples combined make up this here. This friend is the type of friend that literally makes you feel like everything you say, do, feel (etc) doesn’t matter. They make you feel like trash for having opinions and constantly put you down while building themselves up. They make empty promises, make everything about themselves among other terrible things and when you try to tell them how you feel, they tell you that you need to get over it (or they blame you for their actions).
These are the friends that lean on you for support (and you give it); they ask you for help or advice and cry on your shoulder when things go wrong. But if the tables were to ever be reversed … don’t count on them to be there, because they won’t be.
These types of friends are the ones you stay far away from. The moment you don’t feel comfortable being or expressing yourself, cut the ties and move on.
I guess you can say that I’ve had my share of dealing with friends who weren’t in it for the right causes. I will say that it is a learning experience (one that I’m still going through) but it’s definitely a test of my own character and finding myself. A part of building yourself up and finding your self worth is getting rid of all those things/people that make that plan seem questionable or unfathomable.