I’ve realized that I’m not ready to be consistent with my blogging again and I’ve become okay with that. Nevertheless, I saw this writing prompt (the title) on instagram from BlackGirlInOm and kind of felt compelled to write, which honestly hasn’t happened in a while. So, here it goes …
There’s a very popular quote that goes around. It says “Self care and self love is not selfish”. I disagree. It is, 100 percent. Living a soft + strong life (to me) is acknowledging that, standing firm in that and being okay with that.
It is knowing that before I pour into someone else’s glass, mine must be full. I must be full.
It is accepting (healthy + constructive) criticism and turning it so that it is able to positively impact me. At the same time, being able to weed out those who only mean me harm and being adamant about not having those people and/or things in my life, in my energy, penetrating my aura.
It is staying strong in my belief that my purpose is indeed powerful and necessary and was made just for me. And staying soft is giving myself the space to make mistakes, take in lessons, grow, change my mind, process and just be! It is the will and want to keep growing and getting better. Being a better and healthier (mentally, spiritually, physically -and of course financially) version of myself.
It is saying no and yes. When I want. Without feeling pressured into explaining myself or feeling guilty about choosing myself first. It is checking out to focus on myself when I see fit. But making sure that I stay in tuned with my loved ones. Being reliable and dependent but not a stool lifting everyone up while I am left depleted.
One of things I think about when I think about gaining strength through spiritual journeys is the task of being alone. Being alone allows me to really tap in to self; monitor my emotions, follow my intuition and dive into my creativeness. But, it is no easy feat. Hence, the strength part. Living a strong + soft life is taking time to be alone whilst remembering that it does not mean that I am lonely. It means, taking time to be with loved ones when I do start to feel that way. And most importantly, knowing that being alone and being with loved ones are both okay.
There are times when my strength waivers. When I’m feeling low, down and just out of it. Living a soft life is allowing myself to feel and journey through these places of self doubt and sadness. Living a strong life is making sure that I don’t wallow in this sadness. That I don’t settle there + make a home out of tears, ruffled hair and un-ironed t-shirts. Living a soft + strong life is realizing that there is both strength and softness in vulnerability. It is climbing out of that and remaining powerful and humble, loud in my self love and calm throughout my journey.
I’m gonna give another quote, but this one’s by me; “my light reigns supreme. my spirit reigns supreme.” Living this balanced life of strength and gentleness is standing firm in my belief that I am worthy. So much so, I got it tattooed. Permanent reminder, lol!
It is waking up every morning, blessed with another 24 hours and deciding that I am worthy, I matter and I am enough. And, while I may not be enough for anyone else .. I must be enough for/to myself before all.
And last, it is laughing. Like heartfelt cackling, tears falling from your eyes laughter. Surrounding myself with LOVE. Making sure that the energy I put into the world is that that I wish to receive. It is journaling and yoga and meditation and communication and tears and sorrow and dips, twists and turns and happiness and joy and working and walking towards to all of my dreams and goals.