- it’s needed
- it’s important
- it’s essential to growth
- it comes in different forms
- it is different for each of us -as long as it’s positive
- music makes me happy
- especially bob marley and lauryn hill
- journaling also makes me very happy
- and so does sipping wine
- self affirmations help increase your self esteem
- self care is how you begin to fall in love with yourself
- it is how you begin to build positive and uplifting relationships
- self care is knowing that you are worthy of more than just the bare minimum and expecting nothing less than the best
- self care is honesty to self
- it’s putting your happiness first and foremost
- but not forgetting about the people that you love
- its spending quality time with yourself and not feeling lonely
- self care is helping yourself
- self care is waking up every morning and deciding that you have a purpose
- self care = self love
I’m frequently asked about some of my self love/self care methods. Today was the perfect day to indulge in just that. Taking advantage of Brooklyn’s snow day, I decided to cuddle up and tell you guys just how I catered to myself today.
Happy February beautiful souls! I’m a few (well, more than a few) days late for the start of the new month but that’s okay -better late than never, right?
Here in New York, we’re having a pretty intense snow day. Schools are cancelled, work (for some) is too and everyone is pretty much cuddled up, watching Netflix, eating ice cream and drinking wine.
If you’re like me and have approximately 0 baes then this day can/might be a drag for you. I allllllmost found myself feeling kind of down about that. Then (as always), I snapped out of it and decided to use this day as a day of self-care and self love. So I thought it would be pretty cool to give you guys a little insight on how my day has panned out thus far.
My day started pretty early (around 8:30 am). As per usual, I woke up and checked social media (a bad habit, that must be stopped in 2017). Then I did a quick 15 minute yoga session before heading to the supermarket (with my mommy) to gather some things for my day/night in.
On the way to the supermarket, I decided that I would do a little home cooking -since I haven’t reallllllyyyy chef’ed it up in a while. (Btw, I love Bitmojis)
After searching through a few recipes, I decided on a Vegan Alfredo Pasta and Salmon with a caramelized sauce. I threwwww down, okay!
Follow me on SNAPCHAT – YouScreamSky
After relaxing and enjoying my meal (and netflix) … I took a nap. Lol. Butttttt, when I woke up, I hopped in the shower, washed my hair .. got real sneaky clean. I lathered myself in some soft body butter (shameless plug coming up .. now – which is available at SKYBRITNEI) and I turned on some good music, lit some candles and meditated whilst repeating positive self affirmations.
Whenever I’m taking the time to just BE, my music choice is always Bob Marley, Lauryn Hill and India Arie (among a few other artists). As for the candles, I have really been into soy candles lately and I have been loving the scent of Lavender & Vanilla (mixed). These two combined, made it extremely easy for me to relax and enjoy the tranquility and stillness of my afternoon.
Winding down, I indulged in a bit of journaling via my #ANote2Self Meditation Journal by Alex Elle. I also read a few pages of my WordsOF Gratitude book. These are just some things that help me center myself and gain some peace of mind.
After centering my thoughts and emotions .. here comes a little bit of the ratchet. I heard via Twitter that VH1 was replaying old episodes of Flavor of Love! And I had to indulge for a little while -I couldn’t help it lol.
Sidenote| Can we discuss WHY Trey Songz is doing a dating show? Why? Why? & Why? Lol.
Anyways – then, I thought to myself ‘people are always inquiring about my self love methods’ and without me realizing today was all about self love and being okay with solitude soooo, I decided to write this for you guys. A nice drink sitting next to me and Bob playing in the background .. now is where I’ll sign off to enjoy the rest of my night.
Keep in mind that self love is more than just what I do. It is different for each person. The only thing that should be transitional in self love is that it IS INDEED self love and is built on positivity.
Be well guys and always practice self love -everyday!
Btw – as I was fixing up my site, I realized that I have over 2,000 followers. I don’t know when that happened but I am extremely grateful to all of you. I appreciate it more than you know! Besitosss mis amores!
Mental health is such an important part of getting your life together and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing -checking in with myself and my mental health.
I don’t know where to start but the past couple of weeks were about me taking the initial steps to re-finding myself and my sanity.
You see, people always think they know you. They see smiles and laughs and upbeat/inspirational social media posts and without inquiring what you’re going through or seeing how you’re doing, they make comments and assumptions that have no standing ground.
With that being said, I laughed, smiled and inspired my way through a huge part of 2016. I was blessed to be surrounded by love and happiness. My spiritual journey hit new and beautiful heights. I TRAVELED! But man the last few weeks of the year (internally – although I had many good days surrounded by loved ones), I was facing some personal battles. And those battles left me feeling like my mental health was in jeopardy. So much so, that I dropped everything and took a short trip to Jamaica with my god sister during the first week on 2017.
So as you can see I’ve been taking some time to get my mind right. Lots of yoga, lots of meditation, lots of time to myself. Reflection. Realignment. Revamp. Redo. Reposition. Lol, the works!
Although I’m all for taking time out to regroup, reconnect with oneself etc .. I’m also ready to get back to the things I love. I’m ready to get back to branding myself, writing, blogging and being a free spirit. A fresh new start .. doing the things I love. I’m ready to reclaim my positive nature. I’m ready to unburden myself of these battles and get my mental health on good standing ground.
So, while my posting may not be as frequent as it was in the past .. I do ask my lovely followers to bare with me on my journey as I realign myself and slowly but surely fall back into place.
To end of this coming of age blog post (lol) I want to invite my readers to check out my brand new website.
SkyBritnei.com is something that I have been working on during my hiatus. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a VERY long time, but didn’t know how to bring it to life. It’s something that has definitely put a bit of sunshine in my heart.
I hope you like it.
I’m been away from my blogging safe haven for a while and during that time I had a breakdown, an epiphany, felt lost and confused .. and ultimately got back up and began to re-find myself.
I. Am. Still. Trying. To. Figure. It. Out.
Everyday is a challenge.
A multitude of things has happened during my time away from my blogging safe haven. I am finishing up the final touches of redecorating my room. My heart was broken. I booked a vacation rental to Costa Rica for my 23rd birthday. My heart was broken again lol. I lost my voice. I stopped writing. I began to feel very uninspired. I re-found my voice. I wrote. A lot. I realigned my goals. My laptop broke – which ultimately stopped me from blogging to you all about all the things that I’ve been dealing with. I got a new laptop. I started to revisit the world of dating -yass honey! I started my natural body butters. I’ve been learning and experimenting with new jewelry designs and finding ways to better myself and my craft. I tried being vegan for a week. I realized that I can only be vegan for a week and the pescatarian lifestyle is for me lol. I also realized that my working environment isn’t one that makes me happy. Realized that a part of the reason that it is so hard to steadily be happy and journey on towards peace is because I am surrounded by more negative things, people and places than I thought. I realized that I need to separate myself from those things now more than ever for the sake of my mental health, clarity and continuous path to self love. Oh, I need a new job guys. This is FACTS. I’m actively looking. However, I also realized that my true goal is to work for myself. Aside from that, I also had to remind myself that even during my times of doubt and frustration that I am an extraordinary, exceptional, brilliant and beautiful human being. So for the time I was away ….. I laughed, I cried, I learned … and realized that I am a confused, beautiful but … seriously a confused mess and I need to get my life.
Yes, you read that long ass paragraph only for it to end with “I’m confused”. I am lost in translation. Swept up in thoughts of how to make myself a better person than I was yesterday and caught between making those around me happy, helping out where I can and perfecting my craft and writing and re-finding my voice and just wanting some plain old love and attention!
If the title has compelled you to read this then you’re probably waiting for the part where I give a list of proper advice about how to get ya life! Listen, this is one time where I am just as lost as you. No proper advice over here just the beginning phases of life getting that I went through, lol.
During my time away I learned that the best way to start is to identify the problem. The source of stress. Source of sadness, hindrance, confusion etc. For me, that was identifying that I felt stuck, stagnant and complacent.
Then I stopped in my tracks and thought about why I felt this way. I’ve been out of college for over a year now. I don’t have a job in my field. I gave up a year of my life to help out someone who doesn’t seem to appreciate it. My business has been open for a year and I feel like it should be bigger than it is (while I do know these things take patience, time, hard work and dedication). A relationship that I thought was going to flourish in every sense of the word … failed. I couldn’t hold on to money. Felt like important people in my life weren’t matching the effort in which I give them (this still holds true but this is for another post lol). Oh man, and so much more.
I cried. Then I cried some more. I let out a rage of emotions.
Then I snapped out of it.
If you are a frequent reader of my blog, it won’t surprise you that I then made a list.
I made a list of goals. Then I prioritized them. Then I made a list of how to accomplish them. I made a list of my feelings. Then I made a list of how to work through each one.
I consoled myself. Because at 2 a.m when you feel like the world is crashing down on you and there’s no one you can call .. you’re all you have. And even when you feel like you deserve more than that or you don’t feel like that’s not enough … YOU HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU. No matter what.
I revisited yoga and different breathing practices. Because during this time, I stopped and I could feel the tension rising within me.
I prayed. I’m not religious in any sense of the word but I believe in a higher power and I find solace in talking to that being.
I woke up one morning and I decided that I could no longer let my feelings of complacency stop me from being motivated and taking charge of my life.
I woke up that same morning grateful that I have been given another chance to make things right & to be my best self.
I applied to jobs. I read a little. Put on a face mask. Laughed. Facetimed bae and told myself that the following days would be different.
I spoke my goals into existence and I have been doing it since that morning.
Then I smiled because the only place to go from here is up. There will be a few more bad patches along the way -I know. There will be more times, when I’m feeling less grateful and less blissful, more discouraged, more frustrated but I know that I will overcome it. As I stated before, I am an extraordinary, beautiful, intelligent, confused mess and I realized if it wasn’t so, I wouldn’t be me and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have it any other way.
& CHECK .. there you have it, in the midst of all things confusing, ya girl has begun to get her life.
I must be dragged through mud before I see my flower bloom.
I got this 👌🏾
So I’m starting this little thing, lol. I don’t know what to call it yet. But in light of all the negativity that has been surrounding us lately, I think it’s important to constantly surround ourselves with positive words, thoughts and people.
I was having a rough day, a few days ago. I had to gather myself and in doing so I told myself “I must be dragged through mud before I see my flower bloom.” I don’t know why those words came to me the way that they did. But they did. It came, formulated in my heart and mind at the perfect time. Then I realized, I got this. I am an amazing and powerful, authentically beautiful female. There will be more hardships to come but through those strenuous times, I will prevail. ❤
A few months before my 21st birthday I think I had an epiphany. I kind of fell … into myself. Let me explain.
I have always felt like the odd one out. Externally, I was happy and just like everyone else. Internally, I knew I was different. I pretended to enjoy the same things that everyone else did. I pretended that my beliefs were the same as theirs. I pretended that I cared about the same things. I knew I didn’t but externally it made me fit right in. So much so, that in high school it became me … or rather I became it. I became the girl that cared about drama. I became the girl that was hard on the exterior. I became the girl that didn’t take any shit. I became the beauty queen that everyone desired to be. The alpha female. Externally.
Internally, I was fighting. With myself. With what others would think of me. You see, when I was living in Boston .. although I pretended and I kind of fit, I never felt comfortable. It never felt like home. But when I moved back to New York, my pretending got me accepted. The boy I liked, liked me back. I mean he worshiped the ground I walked on. I made friends instantly .. and we clicked just the same. My home life wasn’t the best (I resented my family a lot because they continued their life in New York while I had to start over in another state … but that’s another story lol) but I was healthy and happy .. externally.
Internally, I still felt different. Awkward. Always trying to find the right thing to say. Although everyone thought I had it all figured out. So I went along with it. Up until the last day of high school. Good riddens, except for a few close friends I left high school and my pretend games behind. Or so I thought.
When I got to college, I was ecstatic. I felt like a new chapter had begun. Until one piece of high school followed me to college. She didn’t know me all too well, but we had the same group of friends .. and she felt safe, so we clung to each other. I could tell that she was playing a pretend game too, although we never spoke about it. Together along with some other friends we met, we became the cool freshmans. But we, us two stood out. For different reasons, and this story isn’t about her sooooo yea lol. I stood out for those same reason as I did in high school. I became one of the popular girls. In my group, I was considered the outspoken one, the one that people went to, the one that everyone wanted but couldn’t get, the one that couldn’t be figured out but had the answers, the plans. I was once again an alpha female.
I won’t lie. While in college, I did enjoy my pretend game. I felt on top of the world. And I had my group of best friends that I could turn to. To release the real me … at a bare minimum. Until a bare minimum with 5 or 6 girls wasn’t enough. I got tired of being sheltered. Sheltering myself and who I really was. I began to hate myself again. The fight and anger brewing inside of my yet again. External vs internal. Who I want to be vs Who I am. Ah.
The transition from sophomore year to junior year was the hardest and most fulfilling. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you why. Lol.
Sophomore year, I lost a good friend (yes, it was the girl from the previous paragraph). See, her game of pretending ended .. quite abruptly. Then she transferred schools. But, like I said this story isn’t about her lol. After losing her, I began to reevaluate things that were important to me. Over time, my views on things began to change. And I voiced them. I no longer stated what people wanted to hear. I stated what was from my heart .. as cheesy as that sounds. Buttttttttttt, something was still, I don’t know .. blocking me? Maybe it was me blocking me because I was so used to hiding the bitter parts of myself.
Well anyways, I continue to struggle internally and I think externally it began to show. I distanced myself from my loved ones, buried my head in books and work and went on a small hiatus. Then things went left. On my haitus, I fell off. I didn’t care about anything and fell into a spell of depression. And I mean things really did go LEFT. Everything that could go wrong .. was going wrong. Love life – wrong. Friendships – wrong. Work – I got fired so yea wrong. School – WRONG.
This is going to sound so cheesy and cliche and every word that is synonymous with cliche … but then I had a terrible hair mishap. Bare with me readers, lol. This hair mishap resulted in me having to cut my hair (something that I wanted to do for a while but was too afraid to do). Let. Me. Tell. You. I had never felt so free. The day I cut my hair was the day I got fired. I had cried on the way to my moms friends apartment but when I got there I was at ease. I guess I knew a change was coming lol. I told everyone that I got fired and they gasped. I remember giggling and although I felt terrible, saying “It’s okay, everything happens for a reason”. He told me to prepare myself and I sat in this little chair while he gathered his equipment. I vividly remember the buzzing sound as he turned the clippers on. I was scared as hell! And as he took this razor to my head, I began to shed so many fucking tears it was unbelievable. I just cried. It felt so good. Like years and years of fake, bullshit, sucky moments were being washed away. Oh my goodness. I remember when he was done, I let out this huge sigh, I wiped my eyes and he gave me a mirror. I was afraid to look, but everyone in the house was cheering me on and making me feel so pretty and awesome lol. I looked in the mirror, smiled and cried all over again because I truly did feel free in that very moment
That exact moment was when I think I had the epiphany.
The next week at school, listen honey… I slayed. It was the last week of junior year but I still felt on top of the world. I carried that same attitude through summer vacation and back again into my senior year. Oh man, senior year (once again, that’s another story lol).
The beginning of senior year was met with so much positive vibes and good energy. The start of my spiritual journey had begun. I said what I wanted. Dressed the way I wanted. Felt the way I wanted and without apologizes.
This time around, I was still outspoken but in the most genuine and authentic way. Like, I am cheesing as I write this. That is how amazing it felt. I was still a reliable source for people, I was still dependable, tactful, charming and beautiful and people saw that. I was still an alpha female, but in a more positive and luminescent way. As a matter of fact more people gravitated towards me and the energy that I gave off. Was I still guarded? Of course. It was just the beginning. But opening up myself to receive the energy of other amazing and positive people was something I had never felt before and it was invigorating. I was satisfied externally and internally for the first time in what felt like forever.
I remember a friend of mine, Brian pulled me aside and he said to me “I see a change in you from the girl you were when I first met you and the woman you are now. I love it. Keep getting better. I see you, Sky”. I wonder if he remembers that. Lol. That comment was one of the best compliments I had ever received in my life .. even to this day. It just let me know that all along, I could have been myself .. and been happy being myself and the right people would have gravitated towards me from the beginning.
But everything happens for a reason.
I know that.
As a matter of fact, I am grateful it didn’t happen from the beginning because I wouldn’t have learned to love myself the way I do now. I wouldn’t have grown. Every hardship that I have overcome has helped shape me into a better person.
Making this this blog, has been about continuing to open myself up, in hopes to inspire at least one person. Or to help at least one person. Or to let at least one person know that they are not alone … and it is okay to be weird lol. With that being said, I hope that you guys enjoyed this post – a little more intimate side of me and who I am. Like the title says, this was just the beginning so stay tuned for part two. ❤
I’ll be honest, my mind is too scrambled to write a decent and thorough post. And for the sake of black mental health, I won’t share the video of Alton Sterling … but I had to spread more awareness and what better way then voicing this on my blog.
It hurts. Literally this shit fucking hurts. We have added another name to the roster. His name was Alton Sterling from Louisiana who was shot multiple times, point blank range for selling CD’s. All I can think is ‘when will this stop’. When will they stop killing us! This man leaves behind a wife and children. And while I won’t share the horrific video of his death, I will share this video so that you all may see what impact this has had on his eldest son.
The time for a revolution is now! We are strong and powerful beyond measure. And what I love is that a majority of this generation are woke AF and know exactly what needs to be done. We are bigger than this. We will make it through this pain. But we have to be willing to fight and fight hard.
I’ll end this post will some status updates/pictures (via facebook) from myself and others:
This post is for:
Alton Sterling 💚
Tamir Rice 💜
Sandra Bland 💚💜
Eric Garner 💜
Trayvon Martin 💚
Sean Bell 💜
Oscar Grant 💚
Mike Brown 💜
John Crawford 💜
Tanisha Anderson 💚
Akai Gurley 💜
Rumain Brisbon 💚
Walter Scott 💜
Freddie Gray 💚
& the countless other brothers and sisters we have lost.
With that being said, today I stand in solidarity. With my black brothers and sisters who know what it’s like to wake up everyday and be angry because we have to fight 10 times as hard to get half the respect & reach half the success. I stand with my darker skinned brothers and sisters that feel that anger 10 times over. I stand with my lighter skinned folk who get denied a right to their blackness. I stand with my Latinos who acknowledge that their roots are just as (if not more) embedded in Africa as they are in Spain & Arawaks and understand that this affects them too. For my Afro Latinos and other non-white Latinos who are often forgotten about by both their cultures who have to fight just as hard as my black brothers and sisters. I stand with my Muslim brothers and sisters because while I am not demonized for my religion, I understand being demonized based on something that you cannot control & on a daily basis. I also stand with all Middle Easterns that aren’t even Muslim but are continually blamed for the doings of a group that does not represent them nor Muslims. I stand with non white immigrants who were misinformed about this country and came here seeking a better life only to be persecuted, humiliated & demonized for trying to better themselves. I stand in solidarity with all indigenous and Native people because you are too often left out of this conversation. Smh, I stand in solidarity with black sisters because we are continuously the forefront of a movement that sometimes doesn’t defend/protect us and its draining and hard. I stand with my sisters of color because we have to raise our men to do so much and be so much and whilst doing so we battle so damn much -prison, drugs, gangs and death. I stand with black men because many of you don’t receive the credit you deserve. You are strong, resilient and ever so powerful. I stand with my people of color because it is time that we reclaim what is ours.
Get educated. Educated others. Our time is now!
It’s always fun to have a day (every once in a while) where nothing matters. You just enjoy the day for what is, take in the scenery, breathe and let go … and if you can do a little shopping!
This past Saturday, I visited Tanger Outlets/Foxwood Casinos in Connecticut and picked up a few different items (boyyyy, was I loving the sales!)
Btw| I won $40 at the Casino. I felt like a superstar! Lmao
Here are the things that I purchased:
There’s something sexy yet sophisticated about Button Up’s. These H&M Button Up’s cost $12.99 which drew me right in (usually, I see Button Up’s going for $20 and up) and lately, I’ve been trying to revamp my style. It’s not news that my style is very bohemian inspired but lately I’ve become drawn to the minimalist/chic look which reminds me of sultry yet ‘grown woman’ vibes.
I then saw these jeans and listen …. I loveeeeeee a good sale! I had been looking for a nice pair of black ripped jeans (and white ones) so when I saw these (and that price) I had to get it. As for the second pair of jeans, you really can’t go wrong with jeans that cost 10 bucks so I picked those up as well. When you’re a bit of a curvy girl, it’s hard to find jeans that compliment both your hips and waist but I find that H&M very rarely lets me down in that department.
Note: These jeans are a size 10 but my size varies with the style and cut of each pair of jeans. These two jeans had AMAZING stretch so size 10 was perfect and gave me some breathing room too.
I stopped by Bath & Body Works (who is having an amazing sale by the way!) and picked up a few fragrances, two candles and a some lotion. Let me tell you, those Pineapple Mango candles smell soooooo good!
Note| If you are interested in candles, fragrances, shower gels etc … the sale is 75% off. These items were originally 13 dollars and up and I ended up getting them for about 3-4 dollars.
I am lacking in the summer department so I decided to pick up a pair of shorts. American Eagle is another place that does me justice in the jeans department … however their prices aren’t always ‘broke blogger’ friendly. So, I was really happy that these shorts were 40% off, high waisted and with great stretch!
There’s nothing really to this shirt. I bought it because I thought it was cute lol.
Before leaving the outlet, we stopped in Charlotte Russe. I loved their clothing items and their prices but the quality of clothing wasn’t doing it for me so I opted out of purchasing anything in that department lol. However, along with that minimalist/chic look that I been loving lately, statement neck pieces are slowly but surely becoming my thing. Like I said the prices in CR are great so I snagged these for 5 dollars each.
Last, but certainly not least I picked a few things at my local TJ Maxx, yesterday. I have been redecorating my room and the sign “Choose Your Own Adventure” really stuck out to me so I had to purchase that. I’ve been printing out all of my pictures recently so I snagged a vintage picture frame as well. To finish off my purchase, I picked up 2 Indian made porcelain dishes.
I have a few more purchases to make to kick start my summer and the redecoration of my room but I think this was a good start. I hope you all enjoyed this mini haul ❤