How To Get Your Life When You Feel Lost

I. Am. Still. Trying. To. Figure. It. Out.

Everyday is a challenge.

No, seriously.

A multitude of things has happened during my time away from my blogging safe haven. I am finishing up the final touches of redecorating my room. My heart was broken. I booked a vacation rental to Costa Rica for my 23rd birthday. My heart was broken again lol. I lost my voice. I stopped writing. I began to feel very uninspired. I re-found my voice. I wrote. A lot. I realigned my goals. My laptop broke – which ultimately stopped me from blogging to you all about all the things that I’ve been dealing with. I got a new laptop. I started to revisit the world of dating -yass honey! I started my natural body butters. I’ve been learning and experimenting with new jewelry designs and finding ways to better myself and my craft. I tried being vegan for a week. I realized that I can only be vegan for a week and the pescatarian lifestyle is for me lol. I also realized that my working environment isn’t one that makes me happy. Realized that a part of the reason that it is so hard to steadily be happy and journey on towards peace is because I am surrounded by more negative things, people and places than I thought. I realized that I need to separate myself from those things now more than ever for the sake of my mental health, clarity and continuous path to self love. Oh, I need a new job guys. This is FACTS. I’m actively looking. However, I also realized that my true goal is to work for myself. Aside from that, I also had to remind myself that even during my times of doubt and frustration that I am an extraordinary, exceptional, brilliant and beautiful human being. So for the time I was away ….. I laughed, I cried, I learned … and realized that I am a confused, beautiful but … seriously a confused mess and I need to get my life.

Yes, you read that long ass paragraph only for it to end with “I’m confused”. I am lost in translation. Swept up in thoughts of how to make myself a better person than I was yesterday and caught between making those around me happy, helping out where I can and perfecting my craft and writing and re-finding my voice and just wanting some plain old love and attention!

If the title has compelled you to read this then you’re probably waiting for the part where I give a list of proper advice about how to get ya life! Listen, this is one time where I am just as lost as you. No proper advice over here just the beginning phases of life getting that I went through, lol.

During my time away I learned that the best way to start is to identify the problem. The source of stress. Source of sadness, hindrance, confusion etc. For me, that was identifying that I felt stuck, stagnant and complacent.

Then I stopped in my tracks and thought about why I felt this way. I’ve been out of college for over a year now. I don’t have a job in my field. I gave up a year of my life to help out someone who doesn’t seem to appreciate it. My business has been open for a year and I feel like it should be bigger than it is (while I do know these things take patience, time, hard work and dedication). A relationship that I thought was going to flourish in every sense of the word … failed. I couldn’t hold on to money. Felt like important people in my life weren’t matching the effort in which I give them (this still holds true but this is for another post lol). Oh man, and so much more.

I cried. Then I cried some more. I let out a rage of emotions.

Then I snapped out of it.

If you are a frequent reader of my blog, it won’t surprise you that I then made a list.

I made a list of goals. Then I prioritized them. Then I made a list of how to accomplish them. I made a list of my feelings. Then I made a list of how to work through each one.

I consoled myself. Because at 2 a.m when you feel like the world is crashing down on you and there’s no one you can call .. you’re all you have. And even when you feel like you deserve more than that or you don’t feel like that’s not enough … YOU HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU. No matter what.

I revisited yoga and different breathing practices. Because during this time, I stopped and I could feel the tension rising within me.

I prayed. I’m not religious in any sense of the word but I believe in a higher power and I find solace in talking to that being.

I woke up one morning and I decided that I could no longer let my feelings of complacency stop me from being motivated and taking charge of my life.

I woke up that same morning grateful that I have been given another chance to make things right & to be my best self.

I applied to jobs. I read a little. Put on a face mask. Laughed. Facetimed bae and told myself that the following days would be different.

I spoke my goals into existence and I have been doing it since that morning.

Then I smiled because the only place to go from here is up. There will be a few more bad patches along the way -I know. There will be more times, when I’m feeling less grateful and less blissful, more discouraged, more frustrated but I know that I will overcome it. As I stated before, I am an extraordinary, beautiful, intelligent, confused mess and I realized if it wasn’t so, I wouldn’t be me and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have it any other way.

& CHECK .. there you have it, in the midst of all things confusing, ya girl has begun to get her life.


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When Hair Boredom Strikes

Welp, well hair boredom strikes you I walk into my bathroom and start searching for something to do. I found a bunch of old colors (some of which I never used), picked a few, mixed them around and started on a journey!

So this was before.

I decided not to bleach my hair before doing this because I don’t plan on keeping this hairstyle for too long so damaging my hair even more for an extremely temporarily hairstyle would be a little ridiculous (in my opinion).IMG_1920Anywho,

I walked into the bathroom and went to work.


So I ended up mixing aquamarine, ginger, raspberry twist and hot pink together. Btw: these are all colors by the brand ADORE. I always see these colors at beauty supply stores and they are relatively cheap and these colors are semi-permanent. Basically that means that eventually they start to wash out and I can use a color remover to get these colors out as well.IMG_1898

At first I wasn’t liking that so much of the ginger color (which is pretty much a darker blonde) showed through since I was using that color as more of a lighter for the raspberry twist and hot pink colors.IMG_1899 IMG_1903 IMG_1904see ew. lol

So I ended up adding a bit more of the hot pink and aquamarine color to those bits that I thought were too light.

IMG_1906 IMG_1908IMG_1907

(I’m not sure if you see the difference in these pictures but I promise there was a huge difference)

Also, this is what the back looked like.


After leaving this in for about 15 minutes (because I didn’t want it to be super pigmented); I took a shower, washed and deep conditioned my hair and towel dried.

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(excuse my undone eyebrows)

To further condition and treat my hair I used Shea Moisture’s Curl Enhancing Smoothie which is definitely one of my holy grail hair products.

I tried to record how my hair looked … and slightly failed (lol)

then my friend came and took a picture of the back of my hair for me


So yay 🙂 ❤IMG_1922

This is pretty much the result of my hair. I love it but like I said I won’t be leaving this in for too long because I have something planned for this bad boy sometime next week but when boredom strikes, I have to oblige. ❤

xoxo Cielo .

My Hair Journey Thus Far

I started my ‘natural hair journey’ a little more than a year ago. Before deciding to make this change I would texturize my hair about every 4-5 months. Then, in a fit of rage one day … I decided to chop it off and ended up with this …

hair cut 1
btw .. don’t worry that isn’t a bald spot, I dyed my hair before I chopped it off. lol

You’re probably wondering what made me cut my hair. Well this was my hair before

before hair cut

I always want to cut my hair but (like many other things in my life) I was afraid to branch out and be myself. So to compensate, I wore clip-ins, texturized and very rarely wore my hair in it’s natural curly state. I was afraid of what others would think, how I’d look and many other things that now I know are minimal. So I thought that I’d start small. I stopped texturizing my hair and loved the results but I was terrified to do the big chop. So I went to a person recommended by my aunt so that she could give me a classic bob to rid myself of those horrendous split ends. Needless to say, she did a terrible job. I waited until my mother got home from work and I cried to hair and told her that I was positive that chopping my hair was the next big step.

And I loved it. It felt invigorating and beautiful. It was at that moment that I realized that my hair was kind of like a wall that I had been hiding behind. Without hair there’s not much to hide behind, now is there? It’s sort of like “this is me, take it or leave it”. I loved it .. for a while. Then I got bored. Go figure right? So this happened:

hair cut 2

 I dyed it a honey blonde color using this dye called Natural Tones. For people trying to keep the strength in their hair and prevent breakage I would definitely recommend Natural Tones as this dye does not contain ammonia. I would dye my hair every 2 to 3 weeks and my hair NEVER experienced any breakage.

After this, my OTHER aunt told me to try something different yet again. So it resulted in this

cut 3 cut 4

I tried box braids and I instantly fell in love. So over the course of many months I changed back and forth between my short cut and putting braids in my hair.

cut 7cut 5   cut 8

Then I missed long hair so I decided on trying out some weave

weavecut 1 weavecut 2 weavecut 3I’ll be honest though, I wasn’t a big fan of the weave so I got rid of that after 2 weeks. Lol

Since then I have tried many different styles.

othercut2othercut1othercut4othercut3othercut5other6      othercut6 othercut7 othercut8 othercut9 othercut11 othercut12

btw; the dark hair is indigo mixed with blackblue 🙂
I also had aquamarine colored hair but I cant find a picture of it. I suppose I’ll add that later.

anyways after many trials and tribulations, I’ve come to appreciate my short hair and have done a few experiments and currently I am here


I haven’t decided if I’m going to start the process of growing back my hair but I know that I am happy where I am now. It may seem minimal but the process to self love started with my hair journey. Starting from such a vulnerable state has definitely helped shape who I really am.

With that being said parts of this blog will be dedicated to just that.
Stay tuned guys.