How To Get Your Life When You Feel Lost

I. Am. Still. Trying. To. Figure. It. Out.

Everyday is a challenge.

No, seriously.

A multitude of things has happened during my time away from my blogging safe haven. I am finishing up the final touches of redecorating my room. My heart was broken. I booked a vacation rental to Costa Rica for my 23rd birthday. My heart was broken again lol. I lost my voice. I stopped writing. I began to feel very uninspired. I re-found my voice. I wrote. A lot. I realigned my goals. My laptop broke – which ultimately stopped me from blogging to you all about all the things that I’ve been dealing with. I got a new laptop. I started to revisit the world of dating -yass honey! I started my natural body butters. I’ve been learning and experimenting with new jewelry designs and finding ways to better myself and my craft. I tried being vegan for a week. I realized that I can only be vegan for a week and the pescatarian lifestyle is for me lol. I also realized that my working environment isn’t one that makes me happy. Realized that a part of the reason that it is so hard to steadily be happy and journey on towards peace is because I am surrounded by more negative things, people and places than I thought. I realized that I need to separate myself from those things now more than ever for the sake of my mental health, clarity and continuous path to self love. Oh, I need a new job guys. This is FACTS. I’m actively looking. However, I also realized that my true goal is to work for myself. Aside from that, I also had to remind myself that even during my times of doubt and frustration that I am an extraordinary, exceptional, brilliant and beautiful human being. So for the time I was away ….. I laughed, I cried, I learned … and realized that I am a confused, beautiful but … seriously a confused mess and I need to get my life.

Yes, you read that long ass paragraph only for it to end with “I’m confused”. I am lost in translation. Swept up in thoughts of how to make myself a better person than I was yesterday and caught between making those around me happy, helping out where I can and perfecting my craft and writing and re-finding my voice and just wanting some plain old love and attention!

If the title has compelled you to read this then you’re probably waiting for the part where I give a list of proper advice about how to get ya life! Listen, this is one time where I am just as lost as you. No proper advice over here just the beginning phases of life getting that I went through, lol.

During my time away I learned that the best way to start is to identify the problem. The source of stress. Source of sadness, hindrance, confusion etc. For me, that was identifying that I felt stuck, stagnant and complacent.

Then I stopped in my tracks and thought about why I felt this way. I’ve been out of college for over a year now. I don’t have a job in my field. I gave up a year of my life to help out someone who doesn’t seem to appreciate it. My business has been open for a year and I feel like it should be bigger than it is (while I do know these things take patience, time, hard work and dedication). A relationship that I thought was going to flourish in every sense of the word … failed. I couldn’t hold on to money. Felt like important people in my life weren’t matching the effort in which I give them (this still holds true but this is for another post lol). Oh man, and so much more.

I cried. Then I cried some more. I let out a rage of emotions.

Then I snapped out of it.

If you are a frequent reader of my blog, it won’t surprise you that I then made a list.

I made a list of goals. Then I prioritized them. Then I made a list of how to accomplish them. I made a list of my feelings. Then I made a list of how to work through each one.

I consoled myself. Because at 2 a.m when you feel like the world is crashing down on you and there’s no one you can call .. you’re all you have. And even when you feel like you deserve more than that or you don’t feel like that’s not enough … YOU HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU. No matter what.

I revisited yoga and different breathing practices. Because during this time, I stopped and I could feel the tension rising within me.

I prayed. I’m not religious in any sense of the word but I believe in a higher power and I find solace in talking to that being.

I woke up one morning and I decided that I could no longer let my feelings of complacency stop me from being motivated and taking charge of my life.

I woke up that same morning grateful that I have been given another chance to make things right & to be my best self.

I applied to jobs. I read a little. Put on a face mask. Laughed. Facetimed bae and told myself that the following days would be different.

I spoke my goals into existence and I have been doing it since that morning.

Then I smiled because the only place to go from here is up. There will be a few more bad patches along the way -I know. There will be more times, when I’m feeling less grateful and less blissful, more discouraged, more frustrated but I know that I will overcome it. As I stated before, I am an extraordinary, beautiful, intelligent, confused mess and I realized if it wasn’t so, I wouldn’t be me and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have it any other way.

& CHECK .. there you have it, in the midst of all things confusing, ya girl has begun to get her life.


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To Choose Or Not To Choose

I think it’s important for people to know that they have the choice of how they are going to live their lives.

What do I mean?

In my opinion, a lot of the times we can become so consumed by negativity that we forget to bask in all the positivity that constantly surrounds us. For one negative thing that happens .. A thousand positive things can follow, put we have to choose for that to happen .. we have to want it bad enough.

So for 2016 and all the years to come .. I challenge you to make that choice.

Choose peace over violence. Choose happiness over anger. Choose humility over arrogance. Choose uplifting qualities over detrimental ones. Choose to smile over .. well, not smiling. Choose to forgive over holding grudges. Choose freedom. Choose love. Choose yourself.

xoxo Cielo.

2015 – Good Riddens & Thanks For The Lessons


Day365_0212015 wasn’t my most gracious year. I had a lot of obstacles, people, negativity and so much more trying to hold me back. But I will say this – 2015 was the year I got shit done! I’m proud of myself; all boasting included. After a few depressing years full of self-hatred, self doubt and sadness .. I truly did prosper.

I graduated from undergrad .. and it WASN’T easy. I fought like hell to walk across that stage. I began working with an incredible team as a research assistant for one of the few people that pushed me and made me a better person throughout my undergraduate career. I connected with a whole new set of people who will forever be family (winks at Clari, Gisbel, & Flo <3). I gained understanding of myself. I started a spiritual journey .. a beautiful journey of self appreciation, self love, positivity, peace and happiness. AND I literally started my own business and well I started this baby here – I started my own brand; something that will forever be mine! I mean 2015 wasn’t all bad.

With all of that being said, I wanted to share some lessons that I learned through 2015.

  1. It is not selfish to put your happiness first.
    You deserve to be happy and you deserve to put yourself first. We live in a world that makes us feel selfish when we put our needs and wants above the needs and wants of our loved ones. But think about this, if we aren’t happy (I mean TRULY happy) how are we going to help anyone achieve happiness? How can we expect to help others if we are not helping ourselves?
  2. Things aren’t always going to go your way. That’s okay.
  3. It is okay to be angry, sad, emotional, “down in the dumps” .. as long as you don’t stay there. Let it go and move on.
  4. There is no rush to happiness.
    It is not a destination. It is a journey. There will be faults and setbacks along the path but that’s okay. Be patient.
  5. Be patient.
  6. You are capable of more than you give yourself credit for.
    A lot of times we limit ourselves.
    “Well, I’m not even going to try to do ___, because I know that I won’t be any good.”
    If we keep thinking like that we will forever be stagnant. We will forever be stuck and unfulfilled. We have to take chances, try and even if we fail, we’ve learned and that is more than a lot of people can say for themselves. We have to be able to give ourselves credit when it is due (and if when it’s not). Be your biggest fan.
  7. No seriously, be your biggest fan.
  8. Health is important.
    I mean, I always knew this. Lol. But this year it seems like I got the short end of the stick. I feel like I was always sick (especially during the beginning of 2015). Then I would get a wake up call and live a healthy lifestyle … then I wouldn’t … then I would … then I wouldn’t. It’s not right and I know it. To live right on the outside, we have to start doing better inside … and well, truth be told (I don’t know about you guys but) I gotta do better.
  9. You do not owe anyone any explanations.
  10. Not everyone is going to understand you. You still don’t need to explain yourself.
  11. Self Love is necessary to prosper.
    This is simple but so major. Stop beating yourself up. You want to prosper and be happy and be successful. It will come in due time. But what is prosperity, happiness and success without the love of self?
  12. Family does not always mean blood.
    Sometimes the ones that you expect to have your back, won’t. Sometimes the ones that you don’t expect to leave you behind, will.
    Family is always about love, honor, respect and all of those good things but family doesn’t always mean blood .. check out Cain and Abel.
  13. It is okay to let go of people or relationships that no longer benefit you. Do not feel guilty about it.
    I wrote in my previous post that something we need to leave in 2015 are “People/Relationships that are stagnant”. Well a lot of times we don’t do that (or we hold on to those people/relationships) because we feel guilty about letting those people go. Trust me, once you start to let those people go, your life will automatically begin to feel lighter.
  14. Stop depending on people .. who aren’t dependable.
    Self explanatory. This was a lesson in 2009,2010,2011,2012,2013 and 2014. I just don’t listen. Hopefully I get my life together for 2016! Lol
  15. As cliche as it sounds, everything truly does happen for a reason.
  16. Even when things aren’t going your way, always be thankful.

This year .. was hard but through it all I am beyond thankful. For everything. For everyone. The good. The bad. The happy and the sad. ❤

Good Riddens 2015 .. 2016, I’m ready for ya!

xoxo Cielo.

The Journey

IMG_4863[1].JPGI found this picture and automatically related to it. As I’ve stated previously, for a long time the real me was hiding behind a superficial personality. I wanted to be cool, ‘down’ and I wanted people to like me and be able to relate to others, but I was still afraid to show the world ME (lol). So I wrapped myself up in friends that didn’t care for me, in a attitude that shielded my wounds and a life that wasn’t my own.
But then I made a conscious decision to drop the act. Why? Well, because I was unhappy. I realized that people are either going to love me or hate me and if that’s the case they’re going to have to love or hate the real me & honestly .. it wasn’t getting me anywhere. I didn’t feel like I fit in, sometimes things that I wanted to say never left my mouth because I didn’t want anyone to think I sounded stupid, I acted in ways that weren’t me and it just didn’t feel right.
As soon as I let my corky, weird and fun personality shine through … I got exactly what I didn’t know I needed – acceptance from the right people, negativity straying away from my existence, the courage to do things that my fear previously held me back from doing (and so much more lol i can go on for days), but most importantly it helped me gain my happiness and freedom- and I couldn’t feel any more blessed than I do right now.


xoxo Cielo