How To Get Your Life When You Feel Lost

I’m been away from my blogging safe haven for a while and during that time I had a breakdown, an epiphany, felt lost and confused .. and ultimately got back up and began to re-find myself.

I. Am. Still. Trying. To. Figure. It. Out.

Everyday is a challenge.

No, seriously.

A multitude of things has happened during my time away from my blogging safe haven. I am finishing up the final touches of redecorating my room. My heart was broken. I booked a vacation rental to Costa Rica for my 23rd birthday. My heart was broken again lol. I lost my voice. I stopped writing. I began to feel very uninspired. I re-found my voice. I wrote. A lot. I realigned my goals. My laptop broke – which ultimately stopped me from blogging to you all about all the things that I’ve been dealing with. I got a new laptop. I started to revisit the world of dating -yass honey! I started my natural body butters. I’ve been learning and experimenting with new jewelry designs and finding ways to better myself and my craft. I tried being vegan for a week. I realized that I can only be vegan for a week and the pescatarian lifestyle is for me lol. I also realized that my working environment isn’t one that makes me happy. Realized that a part of the reason that it is so hard to steadily be happy and journey on towards peace is because I am surrounded by more negative things, people and places than I thought. I realized that I need to separate myself from those things now more than ever for the sake of my mental health, clarity and continuous path to self love. Oh, I need a new job guys. This is FACTS. I’m actively looking. However, I also realized that my true goal is to work for myself. Aside from that, I also had to remind myself that even during my times of doubt and frustration that I am an extraordinary, exceptional, brilliant and beautiful human being. So for the time I was away ….. I laughed, I cried, I learned … and realized that I am a confused, beautiful but … seriously a confused mess and I need to get my life.

Yes, you read that long ass paragraph only for it to end with “I’m confused”. I am lost in translation. Swept up in thoughts of how to make myself a better person than I was yesterday and caught between making those around me happy, helping out where I can and perfecting my craft and writing and re-finding my voice and just wanting some plain old love and attention!

If the title has compelled you to read this then you’re probably waiting for the part where I give a list of proper advice about how to get ya life! Listen, this is one time where I am just as lost as you. No proper advice over here just the beginning phases of life getting that I went through, lol.


During my time away I learned that the best way to start is to identify the problem. The source of stress. Source of sadness, hindrance, confusion etc. For me, that was identifying that I felt stuck, stagnant and complacent.

Then I stopped in my tracks and thought about why I felt this way. I’ve been out of college for over a year now. I don’t have a job in my field. I gave up a year of my life to help out someone who doesn’t seem to appreciate it. My business has been open for a year and I feel like it should be bigger than it is (while I do know these things take patience, time, hard work and dedication). A relationship that I thought was going to flourish in every sense of the word … failed. I couldn’t hold on to money. Felt like important people in my life weren’t matching the effort in which I give them (this still holds true but this is for another post lol). Oh man, and so much more.

I cried. Then I cried some more. I let out a rage of emotions.

Then I snapped out of it.

If you are a frequent reader of my blog, it won’t surprise you that I then made a list.

I made a list of goals. Then I prioritized them. Then I made a list of how to accomplish them. I made a list of my feelings. Then I made a list of how to work through each one.

I consoled myself. Because at 2 a.m when you feel like the world is crashing down on you and there’s no one you can call .. you’re all you have. And even when you feel like you deserve more than that or you don’t feel like that’s not enough … YOU HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU. No matter what.

I revisited yoga and different breathing practices. Because during this time, I stopped and I could feel the tension rising within me.

I prayed. I’m not religious in any sense of the word but I believe in a higher power and I find solace in talking to that being.

I woke up one morning and I decided that I could no longer let my feelings of complacency stop me from being motivated and taking charge of my life.

I woke up that same morning grateful that I have been given another chance to make things right & to be my best self.

I applied to jobs. I read a little. Put on a face mask. Laughed. Facetimed bae and told myself that the following days would be different.

I spoke my goals into existence and I have been doing it since that morning.

Then I smiled because the only place to go from here is up. There will be a few more bad patches along the way -I know. There will be more times, when I’m feeling less grateful and less blissful, more discouraged, more frustrated but I know that I will overcome it. As I stated before, I am an extraordinary, beautiful, intelligent, confused mess and I realized if it wasn’t so, I wouldn’t be me and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have it any other way.

& CHECK .. there you have it, in the midst of all things confusing, ya girl has begun to get her life.

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Start Your Morning The Right Way | 4 Positive Things To Tell Yourself On ‘Those’ Days

Some days we wake up and we know that “TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY”! We get out of bed energized, full of hope and ready to take on the world.

Then there are those days. You know, the days that you wake up, look outside your window and wonder “Why the HELL is the sun shining so bright?” and you know that “today is going to suck”.

It is during those days .. those disastrous days that you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, when all you want to do is sleep and watch Law & Order re-runs that I want you to read this post.

Why? Because I know how hard it is to be positive. I know how difficult it can be to remain in a good place when all you want to do is run – run a way from all of your problems. I know how hard it is to recognize all the good things in your life when it seems like there are 10 bad things for 1 good thing.

That’s why I offer this to you. 4 positive things to tell yourself when your day … just sucks. But please, feel free to tell your self these one your good days too ❤


 

I am choosing to make today count.

Many times, our day goes just as we have predicted it. If we wake up with an “it’s going to be a terrible day” attitude .. then chances are it will be a terrible day.

But try this: On those days that you just aren’t feeling it .. before the negative thoughts flood your head, just stop. Breathe. Tell yourself that ‘today, will be a good one and that I am choosing to make today count’. And don’t just say it. Think it. Believe it. Make it count.

In doing that you have already cancelled out starting your day on a negative note. Congratulations. ❤


 

I cannot change yesterday, I cannot worry about the future -but I can focus on today.

Sometimes we wake up with the burden of yesterdays problems fresh on our mind. That tends to hinder our plans for the new day. Instead of getting up and trying to make the most of the day, we lay in bed and think about all the things that we didn’t, couldn’t or shouldn’t have done yesterday.

Just the same, we tend to worry about the problems of tomorrow, next week and next year. We let our thoughts for the future cloud our perception of the present. Not saying that wondering about the future is wrong but sometimes we do so in excessive and we forget to focus on the right now.

And right now, you need to make today count. (Lol See what I did there?)


No one can stand in my way -except me.

Mhm, how can I explain this?

We have the tendency to look at other people and other things as something (or someone) that is blocking the path to our goal or destination. Get me?

And sometimes because of how we perceive things, instead of trying to overcome the obstacle and head for our goal with full force and a heart full of hope .. we would rather just quit … and stay in bed and binge watch Law & Order or Grey’s Anatomy. I know I am guilty of this.

But think about this: In you quitting, in you giving up .. who has become the person standing in the way of your goal?


 

I am alive.

Lately, when people ask me things like “How have you been?” or “How are you today?”, my response has been “I can’t complain, I’m alive” and then I smile. Even on ‘those days’.

Because it’s true.

No matter what or who you believe in (if anything at all), it’s always a good day when you wake up.

It’s just that simple.

So, focus on today, make it count and don’t stand in your own way because you’re alive ..

and today will be a good day.

xoxo
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Positivity Everywhere 5 – The Fluffy Angel

Name: Tenesha Thomas
Nickname: Fluffy
Age: 35
Name of your website: WWW.FLUFFYANGEL.COM

Q: Tell the readers a little bit about yourself.
A: To start I’m a mother of 4. A hair stylist. I also love fashion and anything unusual that has to do with fashion.
I love to dance (mostly dancehall) and I lllooove to travel and meet new people .. these are just the basics, can’t give away the good stuff ..lol.

Q: Tell us a little bit about what it is that you do.
A: Well I’m the CEO of WWW.FLUFFYANGEL.COM.  It is a fashion accessories website where women can get unique and affordable accessories for any and all occasions. At my customers request, I also provide a one on one consultation to ensure the order of the perfect accessories for that perfect outfit if it is not available on the website. I’m able to get any style, colour or design my customers need…😊

Q: How did you know that creating an online store was something that you wanted to do?
A: Well, I started off by going to salons and selling to people that knew what business I was trying to get into … until I realized ‘hey I have a computer that I do nothing with really’ …. so I started to do my research on how to build a website.  Getting the name was a real funny story (that I’ll leave for a next time😈) lol … but once I got the website up and the name out there it was a rap … I love shopping, so buying and selling these beauties was all I needed and the benefits are GREAT!

Q: How did you get started with your business? For example, how did you chose which platform you would use to sell your items? How did you know what you wanted to sell?
A: It was pretty easy. Coming from a dancehall background, I look at these ladies and myself.  The outfits they wear, colours and hairstyle it was a no-brainer as to what I needed to provide to my customers .. without leaving out my customers in the day to day world that just want to look fabulous whether they’re going to the supermarket, interview or just taking a walk.

Q: Who or what would you say is your biggest motivator?
A:Wow. One of my biggest motivators would be Rachell Payne. And I’m not sure if I’ve ever told her, but one of my biggest motivators would be Carla Babb of strictly babbzy. .. she has been my #1 supporter since day one. There were times I felt like ‘what’s the point?’,  then I would read her blog and see a big up (big up = shout out for the non West Indian readers) to me and my website WWW.FLUFFYANGEL.COM.

 Q: What about inspiration?
A: My mom, she’s my greatest inspiration. When I need someone to tell me like it is without hesitation, I call on her. She is a hard working woman and fun to be around.

Q: Have you had to overcome any struggles on your path to success? If so, what?
A: Definitely,  it was crazy at the  start.  It’s still crazy now, but I’ve learned how to deal with it. I realized that the struggle is what makes everything work. There would be weeks I would only have 3 or 4 sales, but at the end of it I’m thankful for those 3 or 4 customers.  Now it’s busier but I love what I’m doing.

Q: There are always people that doubt our abilities, that have negative things to say and/or wish for our downfall. In my opinion, sometimes it can be discouraging. So, how do you deal with the negativity that is sometimes being thrown your way? And, does the negativity ever affect your confidence or you ability to promote your store?
A: I’m a firm believer in what you give is what you get. I pride myself on being a very positive woman, I try my best to be uplifting to others and what they do. For those who know me, they can say that I’m a down to earth person, I try my best to be around people with respect, purpose and understanding.  Negativity really doesn’t bother me at all though; I look at it as you can’t have the good without the bad .. yin and yang.

Q: How do you successfully juggle being a mother/raising four beautiful children and dealing with the hustle and bustle of running a business?
A: It’s hard at times. Dealing with four different spirits, then dealing with customers request and their personality,  it gets crazy .. but I’ve learned to separate my mommy mode from my fluffy mode.  It’s easier now and actually fun..lol.

Q: How long has your business been up and running? What have you learned so far about owning your own business?
A: WWW.FLUFFYANGEL.COM is now 3yrs old as of this past January. So far I’ve learned that owning your own business, whether it’s big or small as a tremendous award. To know that I get up every day doing something that I love and it’s all mine is the greatest experience one can have.

Q: What is it that you hope to accomplish with your business?
A: I hope to provide the best and most affordable unique fashion accessories to the world. Lol, I like to think big.

Q: Besides getting into business for yourself, do you have any other goals that you want to/plan to pursue? If so, what are they?
A: Besides running a website, I am also a hair stylist. I’m looking to getting into the fashion world to do hairstyling for models on the runway or magazines. My ideas are endless I refuse to keep them to myself 😆. Besides that, I am also in the medical field. I’m looking forward to going back to school to pursue a bachelors degree.

Add Tenesha On Instagram
And on Facebook for updates
But most importantly, check out HER WEBSITE


Before you go check out some pictures from the Fluffy Angel website: