How To Get Your Life When You Feel Lost

I. Am. Still. Trying. To. Figure. It. Out.

Everyday is a challenge.

No, seriously.

A multitude of things has happened during my time away from my blogging safe haven. I am finishing up the final touches of redecorating my room. My heart was broken. I booked a vacation rental to Costa Rica for my 23rd birthday. My heart was broken again lol. I lost my voice. I stopped writing. I began to feel very uninspired. I re-found my voice. I wrote. A lot. I realigned my goals. My laptop broke – which ultimately stopped me from blogging to you all about all the things that I’ve been dealing with. I got a new laptop. I started to revisit the world of dating -yass honey! I started my natural body butters. I’ve been learning and experimenting with new jewelry designs and finding ways to better myself and my craft. I tried being vegan for a week. I realized that I can only be vegan for a week and the pescatarian lifestyle is for me lol. I also realized that my working environment isn’t one that makes me happy. Realized that a part of the reason that it is so hard to steadily be happy and journey on towards peace is because I am surrounded by more negative things, people and places than I thought. I realized that I need to separate myself from those things now more than ever for the sake of my mental health, clarity and continuous path to self love. Oh, I need a new job guys. This is FACTS. I’m actively looking. However, I also realized that my true goal is to work for myself. Aside from that, I also had to remind myself that even during my times of doubt and frustration that I am an extraordinary, exceptional, brilliant and beautiful human being. So for the time I was away ….. I laughed, I cried, I learned … and realized that I am a confused, beautiful but … seriously a confused mess and I need to get my life.

Yes, you read that long ass paragraph only for it to end with “I’m confused”. I am lost in translation. Swept up in thoughts of how to make myself a better person than I was yesterday and caught between making those around me happy, helping out where I can and perfecting my craft and writing and re-finding my voice and just wanting some plain old love and attention!

If the title has compelled you to read this then you’re probably waiting for the part where I give a list of proper advice about how to get ya life! Listen, this is one time where I am just as lost as you. No proper advice over here just the beginning phases of life getting that I went through, lol.


During my time away I learned that the best way to start is to identify the problem. The source of stress. Source of sadness, hindrance, confusion etc. For me, that was identifying that I felt stuck, stagnant and complacent.

Then I stopped in my tracks and thought about why I felt this way. I’ve been out of college for over a year now. I don’t have a job in my field. I gave up a year of my life to help out someone who doesn’t seem to appreciate it. My business has been open for a year and I feel like it should be bigger than it is (while I do know these things take patience, time, hard work and dedication). A relationship that I thought was going to flourish in every sense of the word … failed. I couldn’t hold on to money. Felt like important people in my life weren’t matching the effort in which I give them (this still holds true but this is for another post lol). Oh man, and so much more.

I cried. Then I cried some more. I let out a rage of emotions.

Then I snapped out of it.

If you are a frequent reader of my blog, it won’t surprise you that I then made a list.

I made a list of goals. Then I prioritized them. Then I made a list of how to accomplish them. I made a list of my feelings. Then I made a list of how to work through each one.

I consoled myself. Because at 2 a.m when you feel like the world is crashing down on you and there’s no one you can call .. you’re all you have. And even when you feel like you deserve more than that or you don’t feel like that’s not enough … YOU HAVE TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU. No matter what.

I revisited yoga and different breathing practices. Because during this time, I stopped and I could feel the tension rising within me.

I prayed. I’m not religious in any sense of the word but I believe in a higher power and I find solace in talking to that being.

I woke up one morning and I decided that I could no longer let my feelings of complacency stop me from being motivated and taking charge of my life.

I woke up that same morning grateful that I have been given another chance to make things right & to be my best self.

I applied to jobs. I read a little. Put on a face mask. Laughed. Facetimed bae and told myself that the following days would be different.

I spoke my goals into existence and I have been doing it since that morning.

Then I smiled because the only place to go from here is up. There will be a few more bad patches along the way -I know. There will be more times, when I’m feeling less grateful and less blissful, more discouraged, more frustrated but I know that I will overcome it. As I stated before, I am an extraordinary, beautiful, intelligent, confused mess and I realized if it wasn’t so, I wouldn’t be me and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have it any other way.

& CHECK .. there you have it, in the midst of all things confusing, ya girl has begun to get her life.

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Along My Spiritual Journey: The Beginning

A few months before my 21st birthday I think I had an epiphany. I kind of fell … into myself. Let me explain.

I have always felt like the odd one out. Externally, I was happy and just like everyone else. Internally, I knew I was different. I pretended to enjoy the same things that everyone else did. I pretended that my beliefs were the same as theirs. I pretended that I cared about the same things. I knew I didn’t but externally it made me fit right in. So much so, that in high school it became me … or rather I became it. I became the girl that cared about drama. I became the girl that was hard on the exterior. I became the girl that didn’t take any shit. I became the beauty queen that everyone desired to be. The alpha female. Externally.

Internally, I was fighting. With myself. With what others would think of me. You see, when I was living in Boston .. although I pretended and I kind of fit, I never felt comfortable. It never felt like home. But when I moved back to New York, my pretending got me accepted. The boy I liked, liked me back. I mean he worshiped the ground I walked on. I made friends instantly .. and we clicked just the same. My home life wasn’t the best (I resented my family a lot because they continued their life in New York while I had to start over in another state … but that’s another story lol) but I was healthy and happy .. externally.

Internally, I still felt different. Awkward. Always trying to find the right thing to say. Although everyone thought I had it all figured out. So I went along with it. Up until the last day of high school. Good riddens, except for a few close friends I left high school and my pretend games behind. Or so I thought.

When I got to college, I was ecstatic. I felt like a new chapter had begun. Until one piece of high school followed me to college. She didn’t know me all too well, but we had the same group of friends .. and she felt safe, so we clung to each other. I could tell that she was playing a pretend game too, although we never spoke about it. Together along with some other friends we met, we became the cool freshmans. But we, us two stood out. For different reasons, and this story isn’t about her sooooo yea lol. I stood out for those same reason as I did in high school. I became one of the popular girls. In my group, I was considered the outspoken one, the one that people went to, the one that everyone wanted but couldn’t get, the one that couldn’t be figured out but had the answers, the plans. I was once again an alpha female.

I won’t lie. While in college, I did enjoy my pretend game. I felt on top of the world. And I had my group of best friends that I could turn to. To release the real me … at a bare minimum. Until a bare minimum with 5 or 6 girls wasn’t enough. I got tired of being sheltered. Sheltering myself and who I really was. I began to hate myself again. The fight and anger brewing inside of my yet again. External vs internal. Who I want to be vs Who I am. Ah.

The transition from sophomore year to junior year was the hardest and most fulfilling. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you why. Lol.

Sophomore year, I lost a good friend (yes, it was the girl from the previous paragraph). See, her game of pretending ended .. quite abruptly. Then she transferred schools. But, like I said this story isn’t about her lol. After losing her, I began to reevaluate things that were important to me. Over time, my views on things began to change. And I voiced them. I no longer stated what people wanted to hear. I stated what was from my heart .. as cheesy as that sounds. Buttttttttttt, something was still, I don’t know .. blocking me? Maybe it was me blocking me because I was so used to hiding the bitter parts of myself.

Well anyways, I continue to struggle internally and I think externally it began to show. I distanced myself from my loved ones, buried my head in books and work and went on a small hiatus. Then things went left. On my haitus, I fell off. I didn’t care about anything and fell into a spell of depression. And I mean things really did go LEFT. Everything that could go wrong .. was going wrong. Love life – wrong. Friendships – wrong. Work – I got fired so yea wrong. School – WRONG.

This is going to sound so cheesy and cliche and every word that is synonymous with cliche … but then I had a terrible hair mishap. Bare with me readers, lol. This hair mishap resulted in me having to cut my hair (something that I wanted to do for a while but was too afraid to do). Let. Me. Tell. You. I had never felt so free. The day I cut my hair was the day I got fired. I had cried on the way to my moms friends apartment but when I got there I was at ease. I guess I knew a change was coming lol. I told everyone that I got fired and they gasped. I remember giggling and although I felt terrible, saying “It’s okay, everything happens for a reason”. He told me to prepare myself and I sat in this little chair while he gathered his equipment. I vividly remember the buzzing sound as he turned the clippers on. I was scared as hell! And as he took this razor to my head, I began to shed so many fucking tears it was unbelievable. I just cried. It felt so good. Like years and years of fake, bullshit, sucky moments were being washed away. Oh my goodness. I remember when he was done, I let out this huge sigh, I wiped my eyes and he gave me a mirror. I was afraid to look, but everyone in the house was cheering me on and making me feel so pretty and awesome lol. I looked in the mirror, smiled and cried all over again because I truly did feel free in that very moment

That exact moment was when I think I had the epiphany.

The next week at school, listen honey… I slayed. It was the last week of junior year but I still felt on top of the world. I carried that same attitude through summer vacation and back again into my senior year. Oh man, senior year (once again, that’s another story lol).

The beginning of senior year was met with so much positive vibes and good energy. The start of my spiritual journey had begun. I said what I wanted. Dressed the way I wanted. Felt the way I wanted and without apologizes.
This time around, I was still outspoken but in the most genuine and authentic way. Like, I am cheesing as I write this. That is how amazing it felt. I was still a reliable source for people, I was still dependable, tactful, charming and beautiful and people saw that. I was still an alpha female, but in a more positive and luminescent way. As a matter of fact more people gravitated towards me and the energy that I gave off. Was I still guarded? Of course. It was just the beginning. But opening up myself to receive the energy of other amazing and positive people was something I had never felt before and it was invigorating. I was satisfied externally and internally for the first time in what felt like forever.

I remember a friend of mine, Brian pulled me aside and he said to me “I see a change in you from the girl you were when I first met you and the woman you are now. I love it. Keep getting better. I see you, Sky”. I wonder if he remembers that. Lol. That comment was one of the best compliments I had ever received in my life .. even to this day. It just let me know that all along, I could have been myself .. and been happy being myself and the right people would have gravitated towards me from the beginning.

But everything happens for a reason.

I know that.

As a matter of fact, I am grateful it didn’t happen from the beginning because I wouldn’t have learned to love myself the way I do now. I wouldn’t have grown. Every hardship that I have overcome has helped shape me into a better person.


Making this this blog, has been about continuing to open myself up, in hopes to inspire at least one person. Or to help at least one person. Or to let at least one person know that they are not alone … and it is okay to be weird lol. With that being said, I hope that you guys enjoyed this post – a little more intimate side of me and who I am. Like the title says, this was just the beginning so stay tuned for part two. ❤

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12 Black Businesses To Shop From

For the past few months I have been really keen on switching over to buying from my black sisters and brothers. Here, I have compiled a short list of 12 black businesses that I have (or plan) to buy from/support in the upcoming weeks. Check it out ! ❤

For Head Gear

  1. Visit The Wrap Life .


Out of Brooklyn, NY, Nnenna Stella offers a variety of beautiful hand printed African inspired head wraps among other things.

2. Visit Loc Soc

Bear

This business offers a wrap that is for fashion and protective styling. Two in one! Made with locs in mind, it has now been adapted to wear with any style, length or texture of hair.


Apparel

3. Visit Kashmir.VIII

Image of Adore (All Over Tee)

Kashmir Thompson’s giant selection offers everything from clutches, t-shirts to even coasters.

Image of Grace (Clutch)

4. Visit The Very Black Project

_DSC0022-2.jpgCreated in 2014, this website features hats and sweatshirts (among other things) and was made so that we could un-apologetically love our blackness. Lol, how could you not want to support that?

5. Visit Tees In The Trap

This website features phone cases, coffee mugs, totes and of course t-shirts. All of these items are accented with popular terms and catch phrases from the hip-hop community, black culture and just everyday life.

6. Visit Mo’s Bows

Yellow Floral

A 14 year old from Memphis is the CEO of Mo’s Bows hand made bow ties. He realized his love for fashion and at the age of 9 started his own company. I think we should all take the time out to re-evaluate our lives because this kid is amazing, lol!

7. Visit Gloss Rags
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This website features the names of our brothers and sisters that have been victims of police brutality, unfair justice system and unjustified killings on t-shirts. It’s a beautiful way to pay homage to those who are no longer with us.


Hair Care

8. Visit Camille Rose Naturals
Moroccan Pear Conditioning Custrad is a culinary cocktail blend of nourishing oils to soften and protect the hair's moisture barrier. Recipe: Our natural buttercream base is silkened with a culinary cocktail oil blend of Moroccan pear, Cherry Kernel and Urica (nettle). Vitamin-rich extracts A,B,C,D & K are mixed with protective Antioxidants to offer potent nourishment to strands in need of a little TLC. Rich Omega 6 and 9 top off this powerfully sweet conditioning treat for all hair types.

To all my brothers and sisters that are interested in using all natural products, this is for you! Developed in 2010 by Janell Stephens, Camille Rose Naturals is dedicated to providing hair care as well as beauty care products that are natural and hand made.


Beauty

9. Visit The Lip Bar

 

This website features a variety of beautiful lipsticks. Besides the amazing price, I love that they use natural ingredients such as jojoba oil and shea butter in their products.

10. Visit  Ka’oir Cosmetics

Baby Bleu by Kaoir

CEO Keyshia Ka’oir offers a make up line that has the most radiant and beautiful lipsticks. Her website also features lashes, and nail products.


Fun!

11. Visit Cards For All People

Black Card Revoked - Original Flavor

Reminiscent of the popular game ‘Cards Against Humanity’, Cards For All People challenges your knowledge about black culture.


Jewelry

12. Visit Cielo’s Hippie Shop

Lapis Adjustable Necklace - De La Jipi Collection

Now what kind of person would I be if I didn’t feature myself in this list of black businesses to shop from, lol! I am very much inspired by bohemian culture and incorporate a variety of healing stones in my designs.


With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this short list of black businesses to buy from. ❤

xoxo
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Before You Love Them | Love Yourself

Love is a feeling – truth. You can experience love by simply loving yourself – truth. You can also experience love by loving someone else – truth. Some people feel unfulfilled unless they find love from a significant other or family member or friend – truth.
However, the truth is also that we don’t need the love of another to experience true love but many fail to realize that.

I mean at one point, I failed to realize that. For the most part, my friends and I have what many would call “daddy issues”. We would talk about how our fathers continuously disappointed us and weren’t really there for us growing up as we would have liked. Although none of us ever said it, the feeling that penetrated the room as we spoke of our fathers was heavy. We were sad, hurt and feeling unworthy of love. And that’s just an example, it could be with any family member or loved one.

I can even recall so many instances that my friends and I would sit in a circle discussing the traits that we would want in a significant other and wondering WHEN that person was going to just walk right into our path. We would discuss the many ways that we would show our love and talk about how different this one would be from the last. Then, we would be so hard on ourselves if a ‘situationship’ didn’t work out and really self doubt our love for ourselves and contemplate what traits we needed to fix in order to hold the attention of a potential.

We often wondered why ___ didn’t love us or ____ wasn’t attracted to us or what it was that we did wrong.  When in reality the only trait we needed to fix was that we weren’t falling in love with ourselves first, but trying to find love outside of ourselves.

I am firm believer that you can not help anyone, can not love anyone (truly love), can not inspire anyone etc until you do these things for yourself (or at least try).

As I am on this journey to self love and happiness and tranquility and all things positive, I have had setbacks Self-Lovewith love – especially the love I have for myself. So I concocted a list of ways to begin the process of falling in love with yourself. Now keep in mind that I am a work in progress and these have been working for me – but we all are different. I suggest you all give this list a try and add on anything (positive) that will work for you.

1. Live In Your Truth

For a LONG time I was afraid of being me. In turn I couldn’t fully grasp the idea of loving myself because I was being a superficial version of myself. I tried to be the person I thought my family wanted, the person that my ‘friends’ would want to be a around and the person that I thought was deserving of a partner.

Then I realized that I am a fierce, beautiful, self proclaimed weird girl, hippie chick, pro-melanin, flower child, Rasta enthusiast, artist, culture lover, natural haired, light skinned, brown eyes, spiritual being, (and much more) woman. That is my truth and I decided to live in it. And if the people in my life don’t accept that or want that or understand that truth .. that’s their problem, not mine.

Now your truth doesn’t have to be ANYTHING like mine. You just have to accept it and take pride in it -whatever it is and you are already going down the right path.


2. Don’t Lose Yourself For Someone Else

Now I’m not saying compromise isn’t necessary with ANYONE that you love (partner, family, friends), because it is – but when you start to compromise your self love and things that you truly believe in, maybe it’s time to take a step back and really look at the situation you are in. Don’t lose yourself trying to love someone else.


3. Write As Many Lists As Needed

Now this may just be my thing .. but writing lists makes me feel like I have my life sorted out – or like I’m getting there.

I love writing lists about every and anything. As you guys can see I wrote a list about 51 things that make me happy. Just the same, I wrote a list about things that make me sad in hopes of changing those things or eliminating those things from my life.

I wrote a list about places that I would love to travel to. A list about things that I need to change in my physical and spiritual life. Then I jot down ways to accomplish these things. And as I do, I feel empowered, one with my emotions, I have a sense of self and I feel like I’m taking steps to fully fall in love with myself.


4. Take The Time To Be Alone … And Enjoy It

This may be what I struggle with most. Sometimes, I’m alone and I’m fine. Sometimes, I’m alone and I feel lonely and I HATE it.I’m trying to cut that out.

I think that whenever we are alone, we need to appreciate that. Enjoy that time to just be. Write. Think (not too much lol). Read. Blog. Youtube. Watch Tv. Do Yoga. Exercise. Write a list lol. Do anything – just appreciate that time.

Also take yourself on a date. Don’t worry, I’m working up the courage to take myself out, too.


5. Find What Inspires You

Find the key, your muse, your inspiration and let that help to lift you up.

What’s mine?
Love. Positivity. Seeing my end goal of happiness and self love and success in the horizon. Sometimes, I breathe, relax, cry a little and believe in and feel my goals and dreams coming to life. It is in that moment that I feel ultimate peace.


6. Spend Time With People Who Bring Light Into Your Life

Sometimes being alone is good. Sometimes being around loved ones is better. Spend time with people who TRULY get you and bring happiness, calmness, liveliness and just beautiful luminescent light into your life.


7. Understand Your Worth

You are worth the love you give to yourself. You are worth living in your truth. You are worth writing down as many lists as you need. You are worth having your alone time. You are worth feeling inspired. You are worth being around loved ones. You are worth EVERYTHING that YOU BELIEVE you are worth.

So start believing that you are worth it.

Stop accepting positive things into your life by saying “it’s just luck” or “omg I can’t believe that happened to me”. Believe it, it’s more than luck because YOU ARE WORTH IT. We all are.


8. Look In The Mirror … Talk To Yourself

Now it might sound crazy …. but it’s not. Sometimes when I’m feeling down and nothing else is working, I walk over to my mirror. I stare at myself .. for a while, most of the times tears streaming down my face and I give myself a pep talk.

If I have to yell at myself, then I do.”Get it together! You are better than this.”

If I need to some positive words, then I give them. “You got this.”

If I need to remind myself not to get so worked up, I remind. “Relax, breathe.”

If I need a hug, I wrap my arms around my waist and I give it.

I look into that mirror and I give myself whatever I need because when everything else is gone, when everyone else returns to their own life … all you have is you.

And that has got to be enough. The love you have for yourself .. it has to be enough.

So love yourself first.

 

xoxo
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51 Things That Make Me Happy !

The past few weeks have been very trying. In terms of being positive and continuing on my journey to happiness and self love, I have instead taken a pit stop at restlessness, sadness and self doubt. It isn’t fun. At. ALL.

I decided that I need to resume my journey for the sake of my happiness and my mental health. Pit stop – OVER. With that being said, I was skimming through some blogs and a post entitled “50 things that make me happy” leaped right into my lap. I automatically thought …. I have to do this!

So, I grabbed a nice big cup of ginger tea (one of my favorites), wrapped myself in my big fluffy comforter and started on my list. I hope you guys enjoy.

51 Things That Make Me Happy

  1. People who smell good
  2. Puppies
  3. People in love
  4. Romantic movies
  5. Walking to my destination
  6. Traveling
  7. Taking a shower .. especially after a longgggg day
  8. Pillows .. especially if they smell nice lol
  9. When I feel like people understand me
  10. Making people happy
  11. Writing
  12. People who don’t give a damn about what others think
  13. Bob Marley ❤
  14. When my hair does what I want it to do
  15. When I look as cute in pictures as I look in person
  16. When I have accomplished a goal after procrastinating forever
  17. Reading
  18. Learning new things
  19. Culture
  20. Art
  21. Music
  22. Positive people
  23. Good food .. I mean seriously. I should’ve written this first
  24. Peeing after holding it for a really long time
  25. Time to myself
  26. Time with my loved ones
  27. The sound of rain
  28. Parks
  29. Picnics .. In Parks
  30. Getting things in the mail
  31. Feeling emotionally stable
  32. Being productive
  33. Feeling wanted
  34. Eating healthy .. because I feel healthy
  35. Pools!
  36. Dipping my head under water
  37. When I am feeling confident and sexy
  38. Smelling clothes after they come out of the dryer .. clearly I have an obsession with smells!
  39. Being the person of choice that my loved ones come to during their times of need
  40. When my loved ones are there for me during my times of need
  41. Milkshakes
  42. Ratchet activities – at a minimum. lol
  43. Getting PAID
  44. When I let go of and overcome my sadness, anger and/or fear/s
  45. Omg, when people play in my hair. Not just anyone lol but yea
  46. Reconnecting with old friends
  47. Love
  48. A positive support system
  49. Seeing people live in their truth and well as living in my truth
  50. Seeing beautiful successful people
  51. Feeling free

If you aren’t feeling like yourself or just aren’t feeling up to it at the moment .. I really suggest you make your own list. Honestly, I feel a little better. I know it’s going to take more than a list to pull me out of this ditch (woahhh, barss did yall see that?, lol) buuttttt, it’s just the beginning and it is a step in the right and positive direction ❤ .

I hope you all enjoyed this post and I hope you all make your own list of things that make you happy.

xoxosignature
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Tips For Maintaining Healthy Natural Hair

With my last hair care post, I talked about a few ways that my naturalistas would be able to tell if their hair is healthy. With this new post I wanted to give some tips about ways to maintain that healthy hair. So here we go!

  • Cut out heat! If you do feel the need to use heat .. use it at a low setting. (Although I will say, you might as well just let it air dry if you are going to use a blow-dryer at a low setting). Try to use twist outs and braid outs as an alternative for curling your hair.
  • Snip those split ends. Some natural babies think that our natural hair doesn’t need to be clipped from time to time but trust me it is necessary. Clipping those ends every few weeks is essential in promoting hair growth and eliminating fly aways. Also, if you don’t clip those split ends it will only get worse over time – and that’s not cute.
  • Moisturize that scalp. Even if you don’t have time every day, just taking 10 minutes every few days to massage your scalp with some nutritious oils can help to promote growth. My favorite oils to use are coconut, tea tree, argon, and Jamaican black castor oil.
  • Don’t moisturize TOO much or excessively. Too much moisture results in product build up which leaves your hair feeling and looks dull and lifeless and is also unhealthy.
  • Deep Conditioning is your friend.
  • Coconut Oil is also your friend.
  • Okay okay, Jamaican black castor oil is coconut oils cousin aka also your friend.
  • Switch products every few months. Our hair can easily become accustomed to the products we use. This means that our hair will eventually stop reacting positively (or just won’t react at all) to some of our products. It’s nothing bad but it is something that can happen (just like with make up or other skin care items). Just switching out 1-2 products every few months will definitely do your hair some good.
  • Silk and Satin Caps/Bonnets and Satin Pillowcases for the win! I am prone to NOT following this but it is vital! Satin Pillowcases and/or Silk Caps are so important because they lock in that moisture that so necessary for hair growth. If you sleep with nothing on your head and you have cotton pillow cases -smh- the life is literally being sucked out of your hair and also making it more frizzy, dry and brittle.
  • Protective styling. One of the best ways to retain moisture in your hair and promote healthy hair is to protect your hair. There are so many ways to protect your hair from braids, wigs, weaves and much more .. the possibilities are endless and FUN!
  • More water and healthy eating with a side of exercise please. This is self explanatory. Just like I stated in my previous hair care post what you put into your body is what you get out of it!

So far this is all I can think of but trust me these tips will help save a life -the life of your hair! Lol ❤

xoxo Cielo.

Do I Have Healthy Hair ?

So as many of you guys know by now .. I am a proud member of the natural hair community! There’s many ups and downs to having and maintaining natural hair but my hair is something I take great pride in. I use as many natural products as I can and have recently been maintaining a healthy lifestyle as well (now that’s a process lol). As you know what you put into your body is what you get out of it – water has become my best friend (lol -just saying). However, one of the biggest questions I get from natural newbies is how do they recognize if their hair is healthy or not and how do they maintain healthy hair. So with this post I wanted to share 4 major ways (that works for me) on how I am able to tell if natural hair is healthy hair.

The next hair post will be some of my tips on how to maintain that healthy hair.

Elasticity/Strength –
It’s hard to explain, but elasticity is when your hair can be manipulated, styled and/or stretched without breaking. If you can stretch your hair (without it breaking) and it snaps back to take it’s original shape .. then you my friend are in good shape. ❤
With natural hair we are prone to shrinkage. As much as we hate it, shrinkage is actually a good thing lol. Shrinkage doesn’t mean that we don’t have long and/or healthy hair but it means that our hair has the ability to still hold the shape of our natural curls and coils which in turn means that we are doing something right. So, here’s a test for you. When your hair is wet, take a few curls and stretch them out. Now release! If your hair returns to its normal shrunken state after you have released your hair, that is a good sign. However, if your hair doesn’t hold your natural curls/coils and it doesn’t revert back that means that you’ve got some work to do!

Retains/Produces Shine & Moisture –
If your hair is in a good state then it will naturally produce moisture and shine (this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still moisturize your hair lol).
Dry and brittle hair means that you could be using the wrong products (containing sulfates, parabens, alcohol etc). Or it means that you are using either too much or not enough products to add shine and moisture.
You have to find a happy median. Using too much products means that you are going to acquire product build up rapidly which results in you having to wash your hair more frequently. And that results in your hair being stripped of its natural oils aka now you have dry hair!
Now if you aren’t using enough products or simply are not taking the time out to massage your scalp every few days then once again you will have dry and brittle hair.

Shedding –
Shedding is just apart of the hair process. However, if you see an increase of breakage/shedding then you know that you have to make changes to your hair care regimen. Too much shedding can easily be detected on hair brushes, combs and even when you are washing your hair.

Softness and little to no detangling –
This is the same as with shine and moisture. If you have healthy hair, it will feel smooth to touch and not dry and brittle. You should be able to easily run your fingers through your hair and detangling shouldn’t be much of an issue.


As I promote in many of my hair care posts, be sure to use natural products on your hair and incorporate protective styling at any chance you get. These are some keys things to make sure that your natural hair is also healthy hair.

xoxo Cielo.

 

 

 

 

The Holy Grail – Well for Natural Hair Anyways

I feel kind of cool when people ask me how I take care of my hair. They want to know how I maintain the fullness while still keeping my curls in tack. So I decided to write a post for my natural babies ❤ I’m going to list the products that I swear by and hopefully that helps some of you guys out.

SideBar| There are other products that I use as well .. but I guess you can just call these my favs lol.

First and foremost, months before I decided to be natural I researched all I needed to know about excellent natural hair products. For me .. I swear by anything that HeyFranHey says. She honestly has been a huge inspiration on how to live my life (and take care of myself) in an all natural way (for more than just hair care too, you guys should check her out). She is one of the few that helped me realize that too many of the hair (and body) products we use contain terrible ingredients that are detrimental to our health. So with that being said (with the exception of my hairdye lol) I use all natural products in my hair.

So Here We Go ! ( In no particular order)

1. Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Deep Treatment Masque The title is pretty self explanatory. I use this as a deep treatment. I usually get a foil cap from the beauty supply store (or use a plastic bag) to cover my hair and leave this in my hair for about 20-30 minutes after I have finished washing. It leaves your hair feeling so amazing and I feel like it really does the job!

 

2. Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Extra Moisture Detangler. Now this product is not extremely necessary. However, I loveeeee this product. I use it after I condition especially if I plan to leave my hair out and don’t want my curls to get tangled and unruly throughout the day. My curls look so defined and radiant after using this product.

 

 

3. Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner. I don’t use this conditioner as much anymore. But, if you are a newbie natural (especially if you are transitioning) this was my holy grail #1 product for a very long time. Your curls look extremely full and luscious and your hair just feels amazeeeeee. Lol

 

 

 

4.  Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Reconstructive Finishing Elixir. This product isn’t necessary but it does help to control the frizz and leaves your hair with an extra shine. This is the last product I use when leaving my hair out (after a wash and go) or when I am taking out my twist or braid out.

 

 

 

  5. Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Retention Shampoo. Now I don’t always shampoo my hair. I try to do it every other week because shampoo tends to strip your hair of way too much moisture (especially when used frequently). But when I do, this is one of the VERY few shampoos that I use. Other than that I cowash. However, being that this shampoo is all natural it still leaves your hair feeling extremely soft as opposed to other harsh shampoos that contain parabens and sulfates.
P.S if you see either of those on any products you are using … RUNNNN lol … No seriously!

 

 

6. Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Strengthen, Grow & Restore Treatment Masque. Ohhhh I love this stuff. It has literally become one of my new favs. This deep treatment leaves your hair feeling so fresh and soft. I use this the same as my other deep treatments .. (covering my head with a foil cap and leaving it for 20 to 30 minutes).

 

 

 

7. Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Strengthen, Grow & Restore Shampoo. Being that this line also infuses peppermint into their treatment the effect is the same as the treatment masque (pictured above). Your hair and scalp just feels so refreshing after using this shampoo. Usually what I do with this shampoo is (after I massage my scalp) I let it sit in my hair for about 5 minutes just so all those healing and hydrating properties are really infused into my scalp. Also (SUPER PLUS) this bottle of shampoo is 16oz for around 10-12 dollars as opposed to other shea moisture shampoos which (I think) are only 8oz for the same price !

 

8. Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Shine Shampoo and Conditioner – and Curl and Style Mix. Now this is a 3 in 1 deal. But I thought why not picture these together .. well, because together they are amazing .. and let’s face it … I’m killing 3 birds with one stone lol! Of all the Shea Moisture lines … this one is absolutely my favorite. When using this my hair feels so smooth and soft and free and light and great lol. My curl pattern is outrageouslyyy gorg. There is little to no frizz and it smells incredible!

 

 

**SideBar| Another thing that I like about Shea Moisture is that they let you know how exactly their product is to be used. (Of course you don’t have to use it that exact way .. but it is helpful especially if you are a natural newbie.) Oh and if you wait for the sale at Walgreens you can buy one and get one half off .. lol you’re welcome**

9. Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie. This is my one of go too product for my wash and go styles. I love the way it makes my hair feel and like I just stated this line is my absolute fav from Shea Moistures Collection

 

 

 

10. Jamaican Black Castor Oil. This stuff here doesn’t smell the best but it is instrumental in hair growth. It is also the way that I seal my ends for protective styling. Jamaican Black Castor Oil has so many nutritious properties that you really can’t go wrong with including it in your hair regimen. Also .. a little goes a very long way.

 

 

 

11. Spectrum Unrefined Coconut Oil. I use this for added moisture and shine. Just like JBCastor Oil there are so many healthy aspects to Coconut Oil so adding this to your hair is vital. Especially if your looking to gain fullness. Just be sure that you are getting all natural cold pressed unrefined oils. This means that it has not been processed and the vital ingredients are still there.

 

 

 

 

12.  As I Am Curling Jelly. Now this hasn’t been in my regimen for long. But I have noticed a huge change in my curl pattern after using this product. My curls are definitely more defined but it doesn’t leave my hair feeling stiff (as some other ‘gels’ do) which is a super plus. The only downside is that this product is a bit pricey in comparison to the others.

 

 

 

13. 18-In-1 Peppermint Pure Castile Soap. This is one of my favorites because there is so much that can be done with this awesome soap. Obviously one of the many things is using it in your hair and because of the peppermint it leaves your hair and scalp feeling incredddddd!

 

 

 

 

14. Tea Tree Oil. What is pictured isn’t the brand I use (I ran out and I couldn’t find the one I use on google) but as long as it is 100% natural then you’re good. This is the product that I use to massage my scalp. As with the other natural oils, Tea Tree Oil has many benefits. Massaging your scalp daily (for at least 10 minutes) helps to promote hair growth so it’s something that you want to infuse into your hair regimen .. especially if you desire thickness.

 

 


 

I hope that this list helps someone. #Naturalista Lol

xoxo Cielo.
PeacexLovexHappiness

Superrrr late edit! – My hair texture is a mix of 3c/4a
Heres a picture to help you out …

4 Ways To Protect Your Natural Hair + WTH Is Going On With Mine

Oh, my natural girls … I don’t know if it’s just me but sometimes my natural hair makes me so sad.
Why?
Well, because IT TAKES SO MUCH TO MAINTAIN … AND MONEY .. the moneyyyyyyyy. I can’t handle it.

In all honesty, wearing your natural hair out all the time not only takes a lot of time and money spent on the RIGHT products but it also wears your hair out and makes it more susceptible to breakage. So I comprised a mini list of some ways that you can go about protecting your natural hair (not only giving your hair the break it needs, but you and your money).

1.) BRAIDS .. or Marley Twist Extensions.

DSC_0258I prefer braids (because they last longer) but either one is good really.
Pros: -They’re fashionable and easy to style .. I mean on a day you don’t feel like doing much -which is pretty much every day for me- you just throw that sucka in a bun and go (and you still look cute!).
– It’s a cheap hairstyle to accomplish, especially if you live in the New York City area. If you go to the right beauty supply store all you need is about 15-20 dollars (depending on how long you want your hair etc). Now you could go to a hairdresser and pay over $100 dollars to get this done .. or you can watch a YouTube tutorial, gather 2 or 3 of your friends, a box of Papa Johns Pizza and get to work in your head (JUST SAYING)
-You can wash your hair with the braids in (not too sure about twist though).
-It’s a good way to experience with colors, if you aren’t willing to color your own hair.
-You can keep redoing them if you don’t want to keep the same hairstyle for too long. For example; my mother takes them out row by row during her own leisure time and redoes them

Cons: – They take a long time to do – especially if you are working alone.
– If you do plan to wash them, they take a long time to dry.

Note: Make sure to be careful to your edges. A lot of times, girls go overboard with this hairstyle and in turn their edges go . Just make sure to be soft around the edges.

2.) Crotchet Braids

Pros:– They don’t take long to dograd9
– They are very fashionable
– They resemble a variety of natural hair textures (depending on what kind of hair you get)
– Versatile styling options – can also experiment with colors
– Inexpensive, this is another style that will only cost about 15 to 20 dollars
– Easy removal

Cons: (for me anyways) this style was my LEAST favorite because it was so hard to maintain. Then again, I opted to not flexi rod my hair and went for the obnoxiously big afro. Most times that I have seen this hairstyle done they do it like this Image for Crochet Braids Hairstyles but blah I think that is a little boring. Lol
– Doesn’t last as long as other protective styling (in my experience)

3.) Sew In

Now here is one that I haven’t accomplished as of yet (with my hair being completely natural) but that is just because I don’t have the urge to put a weave in lol. BUT, it is a very good way to protect your natural hair.
Pros: – Low Maintenance
– You are able to wash your hair with a sew in
– If you buy the right brand of hair, you will be able to re-use the hair for multiple styling options
– One of the best ways to experience with colors (especially if you do invest in a good brand of hair)

Cons: – Investing in a good weave can be get pricey
– Whyyyy does it itch so much? >_<

4.) Wig

Don’t want to sit for 4 hours to install a weave. Get a wig! You can make your own or you can simply buy one at your IMG_1147[1]local beauty supply store.
What I do is buy one (a synthetic curly) that only cost about 20 dollars. If you are rocking a curly ‘fro and you’re just testing the waters .. I would say synthetic is the way to go. Just braid your hair underneath (or twist-I do both), put on a stocking cap (which is optional) and throw that bad boy on.
Be cautious, there are a large variety of wigs. Currently, I am rocking a half wig but there are full wigs, wigs that use virgin hair, straight hair etc. And if you’re willing to take the extra leap, check out YouTube for a tutorial on how to make your own wig.
Pros: -Cheap
-Stylish
-You can take it off at the end of the long day
-Low Maintenance
-Fun
-Did I mention you can take it off at the end of the day !!!
-Easy Removal
-Can be inexpensive

Cons: -Wigs can get pricey (especially if you are making your own .. or want a wig with human hair
-You will get addicted to buying them

With that being said, this concludes my list of ways to protect your natural hair and save some money. I hope you guys enjoy this list and try some things out.


Now, I haven’t had a post up about my hair in a while and honestly it’s because I was stuck at a stand still with what to do with my hair. For graduation, I showcased crotchet braids .. then soon after, I returned to wearing my hair natural. Then I returned back to my braids. After wearing those out, I decided I wanted to try Marley Twist …… let’s just say it wasn’t my favorite. After being stuck once again, my mother suggested I buy a wig (hence why it’s on my list, it’s awesome!) Now when I was in highschool, I did occasionally wear some of my moms curly wigs (please excuse the poor quality of my webcam, lol) as you will see in the pictures to the right. For some reason, when I went to college, I guess I felt like it wasn’t cool anymore … I LIED TO MYSELF, THEY’RE STILL COOL and that is what I’m currently rocking out. I got my current one from a beauty supply store for 12 dollars but I have being YouTubing because I plan on making my own. I have also asked for my cousins assistance in making one for me as well. I just plan to be wigged up !!!! Lol.

IMG_1108[1]So there you go, this is my current state of hair. Who knows what new style and/or color will come my way but for now I’m wigging it out and I’m happy. Oh! And Wigs are GREAT if you are lazy!

xoxo Cielo.